One Miracle - Celebration of Life (O.M.C.O.L.) Columnist: Veronica Hendrix Title: Winning the Fight of a Lifetime Children need fathers. Research upon research has proven how critical a father’s contribution is to young lives, especially young African-American lives. So it is incumbent that fathers stay in their children’s lives, no matter what curve ball life may throw them. This may be a tough proposition for some, especially when the dynamics of a relationship can push us all to the “outer limits.” But it’s a fight that transcends those moments. It’s a fight that must be won. Mike Jones of Gardena, California is one of those men who literally fought to stay in his son’s life. Mike knew that giving up would have life altering implications for his young son. He wasn’t about to let that happen. It simply wasn’t an option. “Do you want to see your child grow up and graduate from high school?” a voice on the telephone asked Mike as he listened motionlessly. “Yessss,” Mike slowly replied, frozen from the words he had just heard. “Then get to the hospital today,” persisted the voice on the line. “We don’t know why you are still standing and haven’t lapsed into a coma.” At 38-years-old Mike was diagnosed with End Stage Renal Kidney Disease. A visit to the doctor’s office because of severe headaches prompted Kaiser to conduct a series of tests. What the results revealed, during that fated telephone call six years ago, was actually the fulfilment of an earlier prediction. Twenty-five years ago, Mike had sustained internal injuries from a car accident. At that time the doctors predicted there would be repercussions from that accident at some point in his life. That time was now. Each year more than 70,000 Americans lose their battle with kidney disease. This was indeed a matter of life or death. Mike knew that this was going to be the fight of his life. He’s been a fighter since he was a little red-haired, freckled faced boy growing up in South Central Los Angeles. Because he looked different, the object of merciless teasing and taunting. However, this was a much bigger fight. But before Mike would acquiesce to any surgical procedure, he did his own research, delaying his hospital admission against the advice of his doctor, by visiting a dialysis center in Gardena. “I sat down with a patient for four hours and he told me like it was. He gave me the scoop,” recalls Mike. “I watched the blood go out of his arm, out of the machine and back into his arm again,” said Mike adding that he had also done research on self dialysis or Continuous Ambulatory Peritoneal Dialysis. He decided the latter would be his choice. It gave him more control and mobility. This avid softball player wasn’t about to let kidney disease take him out of the game. Mike had a successful surgery and was well on his way to a recovery that stunned his doctor. However the death of his father from colon cancer just days after his release from the hospital, followed by his wife leaving him and taking their son six months into his recovery were devastating blows. “This was a tough period in my life, but it was also tough on Donnell,” said Mike referring to his son who was seven-years-old at the time. “He watched his dad battle kidney failure, he watched his grandfather die, and now he had to watch me battle this separation. He lost a lot in a short time and I wanted to make sure he didn’t lose his dad. I was now more determined than ever to fight this disease.” And Mike did fight. Congestive heart failure almost ended his life. It precipitated a subsequent surgery which now required him to do dialysis at a treatment center three times a week instead of the self dialysis. But he kept on fighting. Shortly after he returned to work as a systems analyst at the Aerospace Company, his mother passed away. And Mike kept fighting. During his six years of treatment, his name dropped off the UCLA transplant list three times and he never received one call. Still Mike refused to give up. He vowed to find his own kidney. In fact, he actually did as fate would have it. A chance meeting of his potential kidney donor at a self empowerment seminar which he had enrolled – at the suggestion of a business partner and nudging of actress Wendy Rachel Robinson – proved to be divinely guided. “Make an unreasonable request of me,” said Patricia Abullah just after a lecture that dared seminar participants to ask for what they want in life. Mike had earlier revealed to the class that he was a dialysis patient and needed a kidney transplant. Perplexed by the nature of her challenge, Mike finally “got it.” He tapped Patricia on her side and asked for her kidney. She replied, “just tell me what I need to do.” Tests conducted at UCLA later showed that not only was this 54-year-old Muslin woman of Hawaiian, Welch, German, Italian, Irish and Arab descent a match, she was as perfect of a match as identical twin. The gift of life that Patricia gave Mike by being a living kidney donor has been the greatest gift of all to his son Donnell. It has promised him many more Father’s Days’ which have always held a special place in young man’s heart. “Each Father’s Day will have a different meaning for me now,” said now 14-year-old Donnell. “I saw my dad survive something that many people don’t. And through everything he kept his head up and never let it get him down. He taught me to trust in the Lord, and the Lord worked wonders.” “Dad, you are a miracle,” Mike said his son constantly reminds him. And because he feels so blessed to be alive, Mike started a non-profit foundation called “One Miracle - The Celebration of Life,” which bears the same title of his upcoming book. The purpose of the foundation is to educate living kidney and bone marrow patients on how to improve the quality of their lives; to educate folks on how they can be living organ donors and give the gift of life; and lastly to be a conduit to match kidney patients with living organ donors. To date, Mike has had several fund-raisers to this end. “My life has changed so much because of the gift of life that was given to me. Now I will see Donnell graduate from high school,” said Mike with a gleam in his eye. “I am a fighter. I was determined to win. And that is the legacy I want to leave my son.” ### Veronica Hendrix is a journalist and writes a weekly column, Veronica’s View, for the Los Angeles Sentinel Newspaper, and she is a correspondent for In Black Magazine. She is also the Media Director for the Los Angeles City Commission on the Status of Women and the Treasurer of the Black Journalist Association of Southern California. It’s not often I write about men and the vital contributions they make to our communities and to their families. Fathers are fundamental, even more so than most things in life we ascribe as being fundamental. In fact, there should be a Fathers are Fundamental movement to promote the importance of these much maligned members of society who provide the needed balance many of our young people are solely lacking. Dads and those who have taken on the responsibility of guiding and raising children get a bad rap nearly 364 days a year.